2025
A Year of Death & Rebirth
"I was not joking when I named my business 'Optimizing Me'"
2025 By The Numbers
The Optimization Sequence
"I really signed up for a ride without knowing the impact it would have on me and people around me."
The Descent Begins
A relationship crisis that shook my foundation. Doubt crept in.
Seeking Support
Therapy — both couple's and individual. Processing, seeking help.
The Underworld
Depression + Solo Psilocybin Journey
The Annihilation
Vipassana: 10 days of silence, depersonalization, Voice in Head speaking "super loud"
Old identity annihilation. Set the hardest boundary of my life.
Integration
MDMA Facilitated Experience. Processing the rupture, preparing for rebirth.
Consolidation
Groundbreakers Retreat (Art of Accomplishment) — New identity consolidated
New Beginnings
New partnership begins. Stepping into the new identity.
AI Immersion & Vibecoding
Deep dive into AI tools. Started building real products with vibecoding.
Exploring AI Safety & Ethics alongside creation.
UK & Greece: International Facilitation
Breathwork facilitation tour across UK and Greece — 250+ participants internationally.
Building & Creating
Vibecoded 3 full websites: Bolivia retreat + payment platform, Time to Ignite, Lead with AI Training.
Bolivia: The Return
Breathwork facilitation tour across Bolivia — nearly 300 participants in 3 cities.
Full circle moment: returning to the homeland.
Full Circle
Reached 250th newsletter edition. 4K+ subscribers. Identity fully claimed.
"Holly fuck... that's an intense/supercharged way of living."
(I wondered what would have happened if I'd have used "Optimizing Me... Gently" 😛)
Tribe, tribe, tribe."
The Key Insight
Art of Accomplishment — March 2025
💡 The Voice In The Head Revelation
On Day 4, while replaying an old conversation in my head, I suddenly realized:
That critical voice wasn't theirs — it was MINE all along.
The Voice in the Head had been wearing someone else's mask. The same voice that criticized me, that said I wasn't enough — it was my own voice, projected onto others.
Once you see it, you can't unsee it. And once you own it, you can work with it.
Building with AI: The Vibecoder Era
2025 wasn't just about inner transformation — it was about becoming a builder. Using AI tools to vibecode real products into existence.
Products Vibecoded
Not just building — but building responsibly. Exploring the ethical dimensions of AI alongside the creative possibilities.
Also Created
The Nervous System Operating System
"The Operating System of Human Experience"
INTEROCEPTION
Body Sense
PERCEPTION
Seeing Clearly
INTROSPECTION
Deep Knowing
The Three-Role Framework
PROTAGONIST
The hero of your own story
ANTAGONIST
The villain in someone else's narrative
GUIDE
The mentor in a third person's journey
"We're all three, simultaneously, in different stories."
Breath Wisdom
"Between a rock and a hard place? There's always a third way — BREATHE"
"Breath is the lubricant for emotions; emotions are the lubricant for thought"
"Two things you cannot escape: An inhale and an exhale"
"Breathing is life. Not breathing is not death. Death is forgetting you can always take another breath."
"When I noticed the beating of my heart, I remembered I am alive. When I noticed the space between the beats, I remembered I am eternal."
"Changing your story starts with one breath"
The Through-Line of 2025
The Meta-Lesson
"The nervous system is the foundation. Breath is the access point. Relationships are the practice field. And continuous evolution is the path."